Death has come, and Death has taken

Death is inevitable, but is it truly unstoppable?

I’ve never really had to grapple with the realities of death. I’ve never lost anyone who’s truly close to me.

My paternal grandparents died long before I was born. My maternal grandparents died when I was young, and I did not know them well enough to be in mourning over them. I don’t know. That sounds weird; they were my grandparents after all.

In life, you see a lot of death; look around, and it’s everywhere. I have mourned people I barely knew. When Chadwick Boseman died, I wept like I knew him personally. I felt it deeply, yet I had only ever seen it in him on the big screen in a movie.

There used to be a time when I lived in fear of losing my parents. If you had asked me my greatest fear, I would have told you just that. As I grew in my relationship with God, that fear slowly faded.

Why? I understood enough that God can keep my parents till their old age. I understood that if not, He can carry me through the pain. Still, I stand with the confidence that He will keep them. I could worry, but that would not change anything; my fear would not change anything.

My mom was having a conversation with someone, and I was listening.

She said something in Yoruba which roughly translates to, “When death comes, there is nothing you can do.” She describes how someone can pass on while eating, praying, or sleeping.

I pondered whether that was true. Can death truly be unstoppable? I understand it is inevitable, but can it just come and take?

One thing that truly grips me is when people die young. I can never understand why someone so young, full of life and promise, would pass on. Why do we experience death in this way? Why should young children lose both parents? Why should a parent have to mourn their child? Why should a parent pass on when their children are just becoming?

It’s an endless list of why. Why? Why? Why? Why is life unfair?

I know that death at any point is painful, but I imagine it is even worse when someone passes on at a peak season in their life. When someone who has just graduated from university suddenly dies. When someone who has just gotten married or just had a child dies.

It doesn’t make any sense. Death hardly makes any sense.

I know, I know, I’m Christian, and I understand we’ll be reunited again in eternity. How about now?

I never know what to say to someone who has just lost a loved one. What words could be comforting? Nothing can change death, at least on this side of time. It is so final.

I have heard their laughter and joy and seen them move through a room and captivate everyone. I have been in their home, seen their family, and suddenly, they are no more.

They’re gone, just gone.